Saving money can be hard and time-consuming, there’s no two ways around it. Which is the sole reason why your budget goes out the window every month without fail. It’s got nothing to do with coffee and shoes.
The thing is you just don’t have time for things like comparing home loan interest rates or shaving dollars off your monthly energy bill. You’re busy. But you’re also 110% serious about your savings. We get that.
So at Mozo, we took our coffee black this morning, wore our sharpest suits and swapped out our kitten themed screensavers for sensible company logos, in order to bring you our top tips for the serious saver:
Say goodbye to banks. Forever.
Banks – who needs them? A high interest savings account is so last season. Instead, take a leaf out of Grandma’s book and keep your life savings somewhere properly secure, where you can keep an eye on every last penny – like under your mattress or in a big jar on a kitchen shelf. You won’t earn interest and house fires will be a bigger worry than ever before but it’s worth it to know you won’t be paying any bank fees to those Wall Street fat cats.
Hit with a whopping electricity bill every quarter? Never fear, we’ve got the solution, and believe it or not, it isn’t our energy comparison tool (although that’s pretty neat too). Here’s the number one tip to save on your energy bill now that it’s getting colder: snuggies. Practical and warm, these innovative garments will save you having to crank up the heat this winter. Plus, everyone will be super jealous of your fashion savvy threads.
Sell your pets on Ebay
We’ve told you before that pets are expensive, so this one’s a win-win situation: sell your pets on Ebay and not only will you save on upkeep money, but you’ll make a tidy sum as well – did you know a ferret is worth $140? All it will cost you is the love and affection of your furry friend. Which means if you’ve got a cat, you probably won’t even notice the difference.
Start a commune
Rent is high and buying your own home is super intimidating. So instead of spending your time comparing home loans, gather a group of your closest friends and start a commune! You can pool resources and labour, as well as buying in bulk to save a bundle. Plus, if you’re really committed, you can move to an isolated location and live entirely off the grid and rent free! Don’t worry – you’ll get used to group showers and compost toilets.
Celebrate holidays late
If Ebenezer Scrooge had woken up a day or two later, he’d have discovered the magic of Christmas while also saving a buck in the boxing day sales and everyone would be happy. Explain to your nearest and dearest that Christmas, Easter and Valentine’s Day are coming late this year, and cash in on discounted seasonal gifts. Then show up a week late for Christmas lunch and complain that there’s no ham left.
Choose a really difficult PIN number
So difficult, in fact, that you don’t even know it. Finding the right credit card for you and using it responsibly is all well and good, but why not save on your credit card bill by removing temptation entirely? Get someone else to choose a PIN for you – try asking your mum or your sketchy roommate Todd – and have them keep it a secret. Even from you.
Then whenever you go to spend unnecessary money, guess what? You simply can’t! It’s foolproof.
Get comfy in the airport lounge
You could save money by finding a prepaid travel card or comparing foreign exchange rates to get the best deal. But that’s boring. BORING. Does that add excitement and thrill to your holiday? No. Does it give you a funny story to tell when you get back? No. Instead, save money on other non-essential areas of your holiday, like accommodation! Beds, showers and a door are overrated luxuries. Rather than shell out your holiday money for a hotel room, sleep in the airport. There’s even a website to tell you which ones offer the cushiest carpet and friendliest security guards.
Split your toilet paper
There are heaps of ways to make your household budget stretch further. We’ve compiled most of them in our family finances hub. But we’ve saved the best for this list.
Get this – by splitting your two ply toilet paper into single sheets, you can save a whole $10 a year! That’s, like, two breakfast muffins! Just be very careful when you use your new and improved TP, so you don’t meet the muffin again on it’s way out.
So what are you waiting for? Get out there and try some of our top money saving tips! And don’t forget to let us know in the comments what your favourite money saver is.
Disclaimer: The above tips are not tested nor advocated by Mozo. For anyone. Ever. If you’re wondering why the calibre of Mozo’s money saving tips has gone spectacularly and suddenly downhill, you may want to check today’s date.