Yes, I know there are older brothers. Work with me here, ok? Image via CosmoUK
There have been a bunch of studies on how birth order affects your attitude toward money. Pseudo-science or statistical fact? Hard to say. But let me tell you, as the middle child of three, there isn’t anything scientists know about it that I don’t.
You’ve been the first all your life – first to go to uni, first to get a car, first to get your hands on a credit card. This has instilled in you a lingering sense of responsibility and adulthood that will always sound just like your mother’s voice telling you to set a good example.
So you’re good with money – you save more than you spend, shop the sales rack and sure, you’ve got some debt, but it’s the responsible kind that’s going to one day get you your own house.
What it won’t get you is a sitcom deal, because your finances are boring. Safe and boring and the kind of situation the rest of us dream about. All right, no need to rub it in.
Most likely to: Spend your life in a job you hate, enter into a loveless marriage and suffer a nervous breakdown. On the plus side, you’ll have the savings to fund a mid-life crisis that makes the Kardashians look frugal.
I’m not going to lie – you probably got forgotten about a lot as a child. Many a time your mum got halfway home from Coles, glanced into the backseat and realised it wasn’t the eggs she’d forgotten. Meanwhile, you were fleecing the cashier out of candy and bubblegum.
You’re independent and creative with your finances – you’ve always got a money-making scheme in the works, though whether or not fruitbat farming is a sound investment remains to be seen. Although you like to fend for yourself, you sometimes go about it the wrong way. Wouldn’t it be easier to open a savings account than a bootleg textbook racket?
Most likely to: Owe money to some shady guys working out of an upstairs apartment in Chinatown, avoid telling anyone about it and end up having to cut all ties and start a new life as an anonymous personal finance blogger. Not that, you know, that’s ever happened before.
As the baby of the family, you’ve been either pandered to or neglected – your parents were either wrapped around your little finger, or too tired after dealing with your older siblings to discipline, encourage or otherwise acknowledge you.
If you’re the former, your finances are in good shape, mostly because no one in your family will let you pay for anything. Reach for a bottled water and an older sibling is there to insist on paying for it. Which is great, until you get to thirty years old and realise you don’t actually know, well, anything, about money.
If you’re the latter, your finances are insane. It’s like you don’t even care, dude. Most people would get nervous about spending every penny they have on scented candles and taxidermied wildlife, but not you. Enjoy your cinnamon scented menagerie.
Most likely to: Wake up in Vegas surrounded by empty champagne bottles, with a tweetie bird tattoo somewhere unmentionable. It will make for a great story – until the credit card bill comes.
What do you think – do I have a future in behavioural psychology or what?