They’re paying what?? Image via Wikimedia
The Today Show recently tweeted that two locks of Marilyn Monroe’s hair are going up for auction at $10,000 a pop, and I have to be honest – I love the iconic bombshell blonde as much as the next girl, but that seems a little steep.
It’s not the first time celebrity hair has been sold (euw), and in fact it turns out, Marilyn’s iconic tresses are actually pretty affordable. Elvis Presley’s hair sold for $115,000 in 2002 (at least that’s not as bad as his dirty jockeys) while David Bowie’s hair fetched $18,750.
Maybe I don’t have the kind of celebrity devotion needed to appreciate it, but this all seems a tad excessive to me.
Not to mention kinda creepy.
So, since I put it out there on Twitter for everyone to see, I figured I better deliver. Here are 10 ways I’d rather spend $10,000.
1. Buy a Tiffany’s diamond.
After all, diamonds are a girl’s best friend. I could have a genuine Tiffany’s diamond ring for just $2,550. For $10,000, I could have a whole set, including ring, bracelet, necklace and earrings. I’d like to think Marilyn Monroe would approve.
2. Sleep surrounded by Nicolas Cage’s face.
For the low, low price of $10,000 I could sleep under the watchful gaze of 454 Nicolas Cage pillows. Hands down worth the money, plus still not as creepy as buying someone’s actual hair.
3. Go on holiday.
4. Drink Panda poop.
Panda’s have a very poor digestive system. But their loss is my gain – for $10,000 I could drink around 32 cups of highly nutritious tea made out of panda dung. Move over VitaGummies.
5. Adopt 6 Persian cats.
A Persian cat’s upkeep will set me back about $1,556 in the first year. $10,000 will go along way toward achieving my life-long dream of becoming the neighbourhood cat lady.
6. Put it toward 1/35th of Gwyneth Paltrow’s apartment.
I’m not giving up on this dream.
7. Buy 30,000 sticky hand toys.
I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do with them yet, but it feels like a solid investment.
8. Get 10,000 McDonald’s hash browns.
I know exactly what I’m doing with these.
9. Add it to my super.
Is saving for my retirement fun? Not really. Is it a better use of my money than buying literal human hair? Yes, almost definitely.
10. Create my own doppelganger.
For $4,000, Japanese company REAL-f will make a freakishly realistic mask of my own face. Just imagine – for under $10,000 there could be three of me running around. Terrifying, but intriguing.
(FYI, it is NOT OK to lick the mask.)
If you had a cool $10,000 what would you spend it on?