The real tragedy is that this re-design may never happen.
Apparently there are a heap of hundred dollar notes floating around the land down under and although that might seem like a good thing (yay, money!) it’s actually making it super easy for criminals to cash in and for everyone else to dodge taxes.
And so the Australian Government, refusing to honour the age-old tradition of “cash in hand” is talking about canning the Jolly Green Giant all together. Sometime soon, a black economy task force will be reviewing the Ten-Thousand-Cent-a’s place in our wallets and deciding if we shouldn’t just scrap the whole thing.
It seems this is the end for the humble hundred dollar note, the Green Soldier, the Granny Smith, the Green Tree Frog (I can do this all day.)
The weirdest thing about it is that I’ve seen two, maybe three $100 notes in my entire life. Maybe it’s because I’m not dealing in illicit substances or bootleg DVDs, which is what I assume the black economy is mainly made up of.
But it all begs the question: where exactly are our $100 notes? Here are my suggestions:
- Under assorted mattresses. A major problem in Greece’s economic SNAFU was that people were stashing their savings in places other than the bank. Australia may have the same problem with our Hundos – either everyone has one or two tucked away under their bed, or there’s one guy out there somewhere, sleeping like a king on top of a stack of them.
- In birthday cards from your nan. Years ago, pensioners were accused of hoarding The Most Worthy Rectangle in order to pass means-tests and keep their pension. So chances are, all Australia’s $100 notes are nestled in birthday and Christmas cards from your nan and pop.
- Inside briefcases. Not just any briefcases, but non-descript black ones that are casually handed from one shady looking character to another on busy street corners.
- In tradies toolboxes. When’s the last time you or anyone you know used a $100 note? That’s right – to pay the plumber/electrician/guy who replaced the window you broke when you lost your keys. Ergo, tradies toolboxes are filled with hammers, screwdrivers, and hundred dollar bills y’all.
Are you one of the Aussies hoarding $100 notes? Come clean in the comments and let me know where you keep these elusive notes.