People, it is time to act. We cannot stand idly by while violence of this manner is being perpetrated. Too long have we been held under the thumb of the oppressor. I say no more.
If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
I am referring, of course, to the fact that McDonald’s has upped the price of that paragon of crispy, golden potato-y goodness, the hash brown, to $2.20 overnight. And they thought we wouldn’t notice.
Hash browns were originally $1.95, making it a price rise of 12.8%, which is a pretty decent jump. More importantly it means that fishing a single gold coin out of your couch cushions/handbag/the footwell of your car will no longer cut it for buying a delicious deep-fried breakfast snack. You’ll now have to fish out two coins at a minimum. Disgusting.
Listen, as friendly as your neighbourhood Maccas might seem, as much as you love the warm embrace of the 24hr drive-through at 2am, McDonald’s is actually a multi-billion dollar corporation, that made a revenue of US$24.622 billion in 2016.
Make no mistake, that smug, red-nosed clown is there to suck you dry. There are 23.13 million people in Australia. If everyone buys one hash brown, the extra .25 cents means $5.7825 million dollars for Maccas. And as one astute twitter user pointed out:
Is this a world we really want to live in? Political strife running rampant, robots poised to take over our jobs, and $2.20 for a hash brown?
Perhaps the next logical step is a return to some kind of primitive, goods-based trading system, where my job as a personal finance blogger is to write about where to trade the most chickens for a bag of rice.
But until then, I have tasted my last hash brown. No crunchy, oil-dripping pseudo-potato shall pass my lips if I have to pay $2.20 for it.
You can take our hash browns Mickey D, but you can never take our freedom.