Stranger Things: Take the Hawkins property affordability test

So you’re thinking of moving to Hawkins, Indiana. Welcome to Hell – er, we mean the most exciting town in all of Middle America! With local charm, a wide variety of nostalgic properties to choose from, and definitely no demogorgons, there’s something for everyone and every budget in this perfect midwestern slice. 

In fact, the 1980s are an exciting time to buy into property. Yes, interest rates may be high (15% - 18%!), but prices have fallen, giving first home buyers a golden window of opportunity. 

We understand buying a house can be a complicated process, so we’re here to walk you through all Hawkins has to offer, step by step. See something you like? We’ll estimate how much you’ll need for a home loan, too, so you’re ready to make an offer. This is the American Dream, after all! And stranger things have happened…

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Contains spoilers for Netflix’s Stranger Things 4

• 1-2 bedroom trailers and RV parking spaces
  
• Close to local factory for bringing home the big bucks
  
• Murder scene discount
  

Don’t judge a book by its cover! Set just off Kerley, this quaint trailer park bursts with potential and community charm – perfect for house hunters on a budget. Whether you’re looking to rent or buy off-market, there’s plenty of options to choose from. Pick a place by the open field, or perhaps near the picnic benches for some lunch in the sun. 

In the interest of full disclosure, recently, there has been a little bit of a…gruesome murder. But don’t let that put you off! It’s all part of the local colour, and we’re certain it’s a one-off. Besides, nothing like a dead high schooler in your living room to keep prices low and affordable!

Price: US$8,000 - $15,000

• 2 bedroom log cabin with a porch
  
• Lovely natural surrounds
  
• Great fixer-upper project
  

The previous owner has died – or left the country? Either way, this charming cabin in the woods is back on the market! Don’t mind the booby traps or the hole in the ceiling: this place is just begging to be flipped.

With a wide gable porch, antique wood, and inviting aspect, this rural cabin is perfect for those seeking a little privacy. Enjoy a hike to Skull Rock or Lovers Lake then return for quiet evenings by the TV, which you can see if you leave the door open at least three inches. 

And the water still works, so you won’t have to start entirely from scratch! 

Price: US$20,000

• 1970s ranch style suburban house
  
• 1 storey, 3 bedrooms, shed
  
• Free Christmas lights
  

Beyond the wilds of what the local youth call “Mirkwood” rests this darling 1970s ranch style home. The electricity is a little sketchy, but with some new wiring and a good energy provider, you’ll be shining like the lights of Chicago. The owner is looking for someone to move in ASAP as she’s relocating to California with her two boys. But while it may be pre-loved, a fresh coat of paint could have you feeling right at home. 

Price: US$25,000

• Suburban Garrison house
  
• 2 storeys with a basement, 4 bedrooms
  
• Perfect place to raise a family with 2.5 kids
  

If you’ve got a cushy job and perfect nuclear family, why not buy a home to match? This 2-storey Garrison house comes with a cosy basement, generous backyard, and magnificent driveway – the perfect place for raising a troop of spirited kids.

Situated in a tranquil neighbourhood, the property is also in the local catchment for Hawkins Middle and Hawkins High School. So close the kids could bike! And who knows: maybe by the time your eldest daughter heads off to college, the house could be worth big-time monies.

Price: US$40,000

• Suburban Garrison house, 4+ bedrooms, 2 storeys
  
• Comes with a heated pool
  
• Away from all the action
  

Could you be a member of the Hawkins elite? Owned by the wealthy Harrington family, this photogenic place boasts 4+ bedrooms and a heated pool complete with diving board, so you can host parties all year round! 

This prime location is situated near Benny’s Burgers – perfect for all your late night snacking needs. Plus, it's far enough from all the downtown commotion that you’ll be safe and sound when the mall catches on fire or government agents storm the building. Talk about peace and quiet!

Price: US$60,000

• Old Victorian 3 storey house
  
• 5-6 bedrooms AT LEAST
  
• Massive attic for satanic rituals 
  

While this local legend may look like the stuff of nightmares, with a little love and care you could easily turn it into a dream. Opposite a retro playground, this fixer-upper is ideal for raising some precocious and gifted children. Features include an excellent vintage bathtub and free furniture in the attic. Been on the market for thirty years, so the price is open to negotiation – though you should definitely get a property valuation first. Don’t mind the spiders, or the ominous grandfather clock.

Price: Negotiable

• Endless free real estate
  
• Exotic wildlife
  
• Use snack-size gates to get your essentials 
  

Live your best Red Dawn aesthetic in this undiscovered realm of darkness. Night owls will fall in love with the quiet atmosphere. Those tired of modern capitalist society can also test their true survival skills as alien hellbeasts try to eat their face. Who doesn’t love a good challenge? Consider it the ultimate cardio workout! 

If you ever need a break, just jump through the designated portals back into Hawkins. Get a free rifle, electric guitar, and welcome basket of Molotov cocktails upon signing the property deed.

Price: Free!

The world is on fire but property is great!

We at Hawkins Real Estate believe the cosmic cracks in the town's landscape give it a unique character unlike anywhere else in the States. Magnitude 7.4 magnitude earthquake? Nothing America can't handle!

And with people now leaving in droves, Hawkins property prices are set to plummet – which is great news for first home buyers looking to raise six kids with their high school sweetheart. (As long as you don’t mind the gaping hellmouth in your front yard. Turn it into a water feature!)

Before you move to Hawkins, we suggest you invest in some solid home insurance with maximum coverage. This quaint little town is full of surprises, after all, and you don’t want to get caught off guard when more supernatural monsters or Russians come visiting.

Can’t find your dream home? Don’t worry: with so many residents selling damaged or destroyed property, there’s a legion of dirt-cheap fixer uppers to flip, meaning a small investment now could soon turn into your own real estate empire. 

Either way, now’s the best time* to move to Hawkins, Indiana!

*DISCLAIMER: We are not held responsible for any damages caused by supernatural animals, Russians, natural disasters, children with superpowers, drunk cops, or mad scientists. Buy at your own risk. Deposits non-refundable.

Buying your first home? Check out our guide on the whole property purchasing process, step by step. Or if you're ready, compare home loan offers below.